March 13th

Starting this blog thing again. Haha. Hopefully this time it doesn't wind me up in a bad position again...

Started an internship today at [undisclosed elementary school]. It's a Title One school, meaning that at least for my school, 95% of the students receive a free or reduced lunch. The poverty level is extreme...the teachers are something I've never experienced and the principal is in your face honest. Saw a fist fight today between two first graders, a boy and a girl.

I grew up in middle-upper class St. Charles...this is a whole new page for me. We'll see how it pans out.

I completed my first 150 collection of Pokemon cards a few days ago. I was pretty excited...then me and Seth went to a video game store here in town where this guy was like asking me all about these details and how much money my cards were worth. I wanted to be like "B-----, I don't know! I do this for fun!" But I knew that he just wanted to help so I let him go on.

Work is...work. Another one of the girls I like is leaving, which makes me kinda sad. I'm kinda feeling more and more isolated with the staff members. Granted, I love my job, I love working with the kids. But I just feel like sometimes that I talk too much, and I'm kinda a freak show, so I just feel awkward after the conversation ends.

Been learning about how I take things too personally and how I really rely on my sense of emotion to pull me to and from events, so that probably doesn't help. But, I'm a people pleaser, and I am literally terrified of conflict, so the combination of the two is not so good.

Another day I guess.